of all the moments
The past several months have been filled with opportunities for healing and inner work so I took a break from writing in this space. Slowing down to ponder which moments matter in the long run and which moments shall pass has required all of my attention. From this I have found that weight of certain moments depend more on the posture of my heart and mind than it does on the actual details of what is transpiring. It is a difficult thing to unpack, but I will try.
Seeking magic in the mundane has been my way of salvaging those moments when I teeter at the precipice of sanity. There is no formula to it, only an inward journey I imagine we all must make at some point—- full of enfolded paths unique to us. For me, this path includes motherhood and time in nature, they are integral to the life we are cultivating as a family and the healing we seek.. Were it not for motherhood, I might miss the silvery trail of slime on a piece of bark and this delightful exchange: “That silvery trail? It is evidence that a snail passed slowly from one side of the forest to the other,” one child declared. “How do you know it isn’t a slug?” retorted another. “Or perhaps it was both, a snail and then a slug along the same highway” replied a third.
Even the tiniest bit of earth conjures a sense of wonderment and awe when we humble ourselves to look closely.
For me it begins not with mindfulness but with consciousness. Mindfulness is focusing one's awareness on the present moment (especially as part of a therapeutic or meditative technique). Consciousness, however, is being aware and responding to one's surroundings; awake. There is a difference.
Yet, I have a habit of filling my time all too quickly. Ideas percolate from all corners of my being. If I am honest, I have found a surprising number of ways over the years to rove through life unconsciously filling schedules with intentional activities and gatherings, but now, I seek an inner slowness—- to be conscious of my choices and the impact they can have within the boundaries of my thoughts and the atmosphere of my home, yes, but also its impact on the smallest of critters on this old earth.
Amidst the hullabaloo of urban life (yes, we actually do live in Chicago proper!), finding an life-giving rhythm that works for our family has become essential. It has been a gradual journey into slowness for us and we have been learning to cultivate habits of gratitude and grit within the confines of our apartment. While, my time continues to be limited by deadlines and projects, my hope is to write about our family’s journey in contentment in the next several posts. How do you define contentment? Is it something your family has had to process or cultivate? I would love to learn from you!
